We are hosting a joke competition
What you have to do!
Post a joke in the comments and we will choose the winner in a few days so comment now!
You can enter as many times as you would like!
The winner will be announced on Thursday.
Example: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.
Sian and Michal
Welcome to our class blog. We are a year 8 class and our teacher is Mrs Lee.We live in Richmond, Nelson which is near the top of the South Island of New Zealand.We hope you enjoy reading about our learning activities. We would love to read your comments.
the kid next door was running around the garden waving a fake wand and shouting out spells
ReplyDelete"so you really wantto be like harry potter?"i asked
"yeah!"he shouted
so i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.
Adam
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie who grants them each one wish. the first guy wishes he was off the island and back home the second guy wishes the same the third guy says Im lonely I wish my friends were back here. jonas
ReplyDeleteQ.Why did the hedchog cross the road?
ReplyDeleteA.To get to the other side!!!!!
LOL!
India :)
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
ReplyDeletePupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
Morgan !!
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
ReplyDeleteLots of blood tests!
Morgan!
Who invented fractions?
ReplyDeleteHenry the 1/8th!
Morgan!
Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
ReplyDeletePupil: What?, and get bitten!
Morgan
Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
ReplyDeletePupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!
Morgan
Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper.
ReplyDeletePupil: I hope you didn't see me either!
Morgan *
Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?
ReplyDeleteBecause when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!
MORGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA
Qu.How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
ReplyDeleteA. A fish
100 ugly people on a plane... the plane is gonna crash so they all get one wish... the first one said:"i wish i wasn't ugly." the second one said the same, so did all 99 of them. when the last one got a wish he started laughing so they all asked him:"why are you laughing?" so he said:" i wish they'll all turn ugly again.
ReplyDeletethis is michal...
three girls found a magic carpet that made you dissapear if you lied one was a blonde one was a brunette and one was a redhead the brunette said "I think im the smartest girl in skwl" "POOF" she dissapeard . then the redhead said " i think im the most popular girl in skwl " "POOF" she dissapeard . then the blonde said "I think.... "POOF" she dissapeard
ReplyDeletelike it if you get it
*ten percent of all car theives are left handed*
ReplyDeleteall polars bears are left handed* if your car gets stolen there is a ten percent chance it was a polarbear.
adam
duck goes into a bar
ReplyDeleteDuck: got any bread?
Bartender: no
Duck got any bread?
Bartender: no and if say got any bread one more time im going to nail you to the bartable!
Duck: got and nails?
Bartender: no
Duck: got any bread?
adam
Hi its Sian and Michal we will be announcing the winner tomorrow. Get posting!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteQ:whats the difference between a lawyer and a catfish.
ReplyDeleteA:ones a scum-sucking bottom feeder the other is a cat fish.!
Keegan.LoL
The most disgusting joke ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteA swede a englishman and a german bet who would do the most disgusting the thing to a house the german walked in and when he got out he said ive pissed all over the house then the englishman walked in and then he came out he said ive shitted all over the house then the swede walked in and then he walked out he said i have licked the house clean.
Jonas
A blonde and a brunette fall off a building at the same time which one will hit the ground first?
ReplyDeleteThe brunette because the blonde will have to stop and ask for directions
"dude she just called you emo"
ReplyDelete"OH HELL NO! hold my knife!"
adam
a bloned Lady walks into a hair salon with headphones on and the hairdresser says please take off our headphones and the patiant says no or else i'll die so the hairdresser walks away and then comes back and quickly takes the pationts headphones off and then the lady falls to the ground then the hairdresser gets confeused so she puts the headphones on and it says breath in breath out breath in breath out cullen
ReplyDeleteMe:hey want some updog?
ReplyDeleteFriend:what is that?
Me:whats what?
Friend: updog
Me:what about it
Friend: WHAT IS UPDOG!!!!
Me:not much
adam
dude she just called you a ninja......dude?where are you?
ReplyDeleteadam
what do cows eat for breackfast
ReplyDeletemoosile
shanee
what belongs to you but other people use it more than you?
ReplyDeleteA:Your name
Chuck norris jokes:
ReplyDeletechuck norris can win connect 4 in 3 moves!
chuck norris got into a fight with superman, the loser had to wear their underpants on the outside of their pants!
chuck norris urinated on a truck once. that truck is now called optimus prime!
chuck norris can cut a knife with a block of butter!
people say jesus can walk on water, chuck norris can swim though land!
chuck norris invented mincemeat by throwing a cow at a chainlink fence!
by quinn
Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane
ReplyDeleteto take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot
said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us
take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off.
However, while attempting to cross some mountains even on full power the
little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only Paddy and Mick survived the
crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we
are?"
Mick replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
by quinn
two blonds are in a graveyard looking at how long the people lived.
ReplyDeleteone says "look at this guy, he was 95!" but the other then says "well this fella lived to 108!" then the first one said "this one beats them all, he was 250!" so the other says "OK, whats his name?"
so he says "miles to Nelson
Quinn
Whats brown and sticky?
ReplyDeleteA stick !!!!!!!
Hahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asksWhich do you want, son The boy takes the quarters and leaves.What did I tell you said the barber. That kid never learns.Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.Hey, boy! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill The boy licked his cone and replied,Because the day I take the dollar the game is over jonas
ReplyDeleteA guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail saysWhat the hell was that all about?jonas
ReplyDeleteMy grandfather always said,Don't watch your money; watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather jonas
ReplyDeleteChina has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like youjonas
ReplyDeleteA guy shows up late for work. The boss yells You should have been here at 8:30! he replies: Why? What happened at 8:30. jonas
ReplyDeletewent to the psychiatrist, and he says You're crazy. I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, Okay, youre ugly too! jonas
ReplyDeleteA couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: My friend is dead! What can I do?
ReplyDeleteThe operator, in a calm soothing voice says:Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure hes dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: OK, now what?
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
ReplyDeleteHis friend says: Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.
The man then replies: Yeah, well we were married 35 years jonas and jonas
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all weird and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! Whats WRONG with me, Doctor!
ReplyDeleteThe doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: Well I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight.jonas